PKM: Yes. We bought this house [outside of Sag Harbor] and we went to Ireland for his 60th birthday and all hell broke loose. Our interaction was mostly your dad saying how much he missed his house [where he wrote Morning, Noon and Night] and how much he didn’t want to have sold the house. He goes through a day in Sag Harbor with us, his family. It’s a wonderful thing, his legacy. Juni 1941 - 11. He was primarily known for his "trenchant, personal narratives delivered on sparse, unadorned sets with a dry, WASP, quiet mania. " You don’t have time to process that change. PKM: Did you dad ever talk to you about who his influences were? In June 2001, Gray was severely injured in a car crash while on vacation in Ireland. His monologues, although technically avant-garde, have a more cohesive, traditional stack to it, but it was the Wooster Group that sculpted him into this monologist and helped him in his acting. Did he crank up Chuck Berry? Spalding saw himself as bringing back storytelling, true storytelling, as a way of entertainment. Kathie Russo: That was after the car accident and the brain injury. Kathie Russo: His heroes? Theo Spalding Gray Photos - Theo Spalding Gray and Kathie Russo attend "And Everything Is Going Fine" Premiere at MOMA on December 5, 2010 in New York City. I get, “So, what does he do?” I try to explain, from the most technical standpoint, that my dad collects the stories of his life and performs them in front of people on stage at a desk. I took him out of the game. It was his way. PKM: In the world right now, there’s this push to get back to “normal”, and as a society we’re struggling with “normal”. Fiction, prose, poetry, art and web design herein are copyrighted by the authors and artists. In the crash, he suffered a broken hip, which left his right leg almost immobilized, and a fracture in his skull. I have his copy and he’s got notes scribbled all throughout it. Most of my memories are post-accident, but I can look at the monologues of his performances and there’s a continuous relationship for me there. ANDY SHERNOFF TELLS ALL. Whitepages people search is the most trusted directory. Spalding was a movie-stealer in 1995’s Drunks, in a scene where his character attends an AA meeting and goes on about beer in way that can make even longtime sober people thirsty.]. Get premium, high resolution news photos at Getty Images Later, one of his classmates, Johnny, said, “Theo’s never had a glove.” And Jack added, “He’s always borrowed them.” The kids know I re-lace gloves and Theo gave me the busted-up one he had to work on. I’m always surprised when people reach out on his death anniversary, which we don’t really know the exact date of, but they call saying, “Thinking of you today”. Theo Gray: He tells the story of his life and makes it theatrical. And that’s a hard thought for a lot of people especially when something happens so fast, like COVID or a car accident. Juni 1941 in Barrington (Rhode Island); † um den 10. Kathie Russo: Yes, he touched on universal things, but with most of his monologues it was some crisis in his life that was the impetus for writing the monologue. It’s part of a poem my dad wrote for me right after I was born. That would mean talking about atoms, teaching me about atoms, and talking about why words are imbued with certain meaning, or why words are imbued with uncouthness, why you can’t use certain words in public settings. I carried that glove to practice for him for three years and I tried to give it to him when he graduated. In his sophomore baseball season, Theo and I were standing alongside the backstop getting ready for another scrimmage when I asked him if he liked the Spalding glove. He mixes his own personal voice with how he interpreted those experiences, and his theatrical element has this alternative narrative to it. There was less room to parent almost. That someone could sit there for an hour and a half, and read his story so well, and have you that engaged, I had never seen anything like that before, in theater. Gray and Russo had an open invitation to take the house, and for Spalding’s 60th-birthday party on June 5, 2001, Russo surprised him with airline tickets. Or which traditions he was a part of? I think my brother recently read it again, like a year ago. Theo Gray: I was probably like four or five because this is before the accident. His monologues, although technically avant-garde, have a more cohesive, traditional stack to it, but it was the Wooster Group that sculpted him into this monologist and helped him in his acting. He was almost 20 years older than me. Spalding Gray's monologues charted new territory, somewhere between Jean-Paul Sartre and Jack Benny, and held people's attention with the aid of only a few deadpan props. Spalding Gray (5. January 10, 2004) was an American actor, playwright, screenwriter, performance artist, and monologuist. I do feel there’s a way to look to at art honestly like he did. I wish I had. When “it” happens like that, it’s even harder to grasp that you can’t go back to your past. My dad was very concerned with the elemental. He was way more withdrawn. [Long pause] Something I wish he could have done differently is stay home more, because he would go on tour a lot. I’m actually riding his bike now. What really set off his “performative” career was working for the Wooster Group in New York; it’s like this art house, performance space. Spalding Gray was born on June 5, 1941 in Providence, Rhode Island, USA as Spalding Rockwell Gray. I think he took on a way more morbid tone in his outlook. Theo Gray: That’s funny. Spalding Gray, with Forrest Gray and Marissa Maier, circa 1993. I always thought that he had an affinity for those writers. PKM: Do you have a story that brings your dad back for you? Spalding Gray's Reputation Profile Barrett Cir E, View Photos. Erstklassige Nachrichtenbilder in hoher Auflösung bei Getty Images MISS PAMELA: BLAME IT ON ELVIS, DION AND THE RAINBOW ROCKERS, DOWNTOWN LIFE: JOHN OATES RECALLS HIS EARLY DAYS IN NYC, TINA BELL'S HIDDEN LEGACY: THE BLACK WOMAN WHO CREATED THE SOUND OF GRUNGE, buy the autographed 20th Anniversary Edition book at PleaseKillMe.com, PUNK MAY BE DEAD, BUT LEGS MCNEIL SURE ISN’T, AUTOMNE ZINGG: THE MANY STRINGS OF HER ART, THE STORY BEHIND DINO VALENTI’S HEY JOE AND LET’S GET TOGETHER, HUBERT SUMLIN: HOWLIN’ WOLF’S SECRET WEAPON, KID CONGO POWERS: DREAMING ABOUT LUX & POISON IVY, JEFFREY LEE PIERCE AND SEAN DELEAR, THE DICTATORS BACK TOGETHER! Spalding Rockwell Gray (June 5, 1941 - ca. He would know I was behind him, but I wouldn’t know if he knew I was behind him. That definitely connects me to a part of him he may have only told us about. My dad passed away by drowning. Forrest Gray: He had this T-shirt he used to wear, one he got in Ireland, one that listed all the great iconic Irish writers. PKM: That’s when we saw him take what was going on inside of him and connect it to what was going on around all of us. Spalding Gray - or 'Spuddy', as his mother called him - was born on 5 June 1941, the middle child of three boys. PKM: Which piece of his do you like the most? He is known for the autobiographical monologues that he wrote and performed for the theater in the 1980s and 1990s.Theater critics John Willis and Ben Hodges described his monologue work as "trenchant, personal narratives delivered on sparse, unadorned sets with a dry, WASP, quiet mania". Januar 2004 in New York City) war ein US-amerikanischer Schauspieler und Autor für Theater und Fernsehen. . They tend to go like this [making an eyebrows up, really-wow face]. He lived in Mexico for two years and took photos. Januar 2004) war ein US-amerikanischer Schauspieler und Schriftsteller. I read it in a day or two. As much as I can’t recall so many early memories with him, I feel, maybe, I would have had more if he were around more. It’s a reminder of the illusion of norms and these shared agreements we have, both as a society and as a family. That’s where he really found his form of avant-garde storytelling. And while he’s looking at these nostalgic ties to his old life, he’s also present, raising a family. I connect by reading a lot. He was primarily known for his "trenchant, personal narratives delivered on sparse, unadorned sets with a dry, WASP, quiet mania. " There’s also him being a storyteller and me picking film and being a storyteller. Otherwise, Theo and I have different experiences. That four-year difference in age is such a disjuncture in the type of parenting we experienced. What were some of Spalding’s favorite films? Official Website from the Estate of Spalding Gray, MY BOYS: STERLING LORD ON JACK KEROUAC, LAWRENCE FERLINGHETTI AND KEN KESEY, REBEL WITH A CAUSE: A DAUGHTER’S TAKE ON THE LEGEND OF NICHOLAS RAY, SPIT IN THE OCEAN: KEN KESEY’S FORGOTTEN BOOK SERIES. Your dad struggled with getting to whatever normal was for him. If there were ways, like an alternative form of therapy that could have helped him cope with all that childhood trauma, that would have been something different I wish he had done, in a counterfactual, alternate universe. Theo Gray: It’s a tattoo. The Official website for Spalding Gray and now his Estate, John Boland, MSW - Webmanager for the Estate of Spalding Gray - Author, A F Waddell Media - Fiction - Essay - Art - Web Art, Russ Smith, Photographer extradonaire and web design consultant. His own storytelling, his talent for connecting random personal experiences to the cultural chaos of the moment, placed him in the national spotlight when two of his novelesque monologues, Swimming to Cambodia and Monster in a Box, took form as popular, impossible-to-ignore, one-man films [in 1987 and 1992]. How did that come across? For him, it was all about asking, getting to the root of things, asking the elemental questions. He had to have an eye operation but instead of saying, “Yes, I’ll have the surgery”, he goes off to a psychic surgeon in the Philippines, he goes to a sweat lodge in California. Spalding Gray and Kathie. You and Me Both with Hillary Clinton (Podcast). Born: 5-Jun-1941 Birthplace: Barrington, RI Died: 11-Jan-2004 Location of death: New York City Cause of death: Suicide Remains: Buried, Oakland Cemetery, Sag Harbor. In our snippets of conversation, he came to tell me he’d had an accident while on vacation in Ireland, and that he thought this drop-step of his would disappear. He is best known for the autobiographical monologues that he wrote and performed for the theater in the 1980s and 1990s, as well as for his film adaptations of these works, beginning in 1987. In the end, he has the surgery. You can read The Denial of Death and see that it was a source, or a place of observation, for what my dad talks about later. How do you describe his occupation? There’s that “performative” element to how he tells his story, like how a film has a pace to it. 1970s Spalding Gray, on stage at The Wooster Group. He struggled to recover from his injuries and a severe depression set in some time after the accident. Spalding Gray, who was 62, had been scheduled to fly to Aspen, Colo., on the day of his disappearance, but elected to remain in Manhattan when his flight was canceled. He wrote and starred in several, working with different directors. It has those home movies in it. I walked away, but I was drawn back later on and found myself buying that Spalding glove, wondering why. Forrest Gray: That’s interesting. Sometimes I don’t know that I’m connecting with him. I heard this all more than once. You could make that same argument on the national level if you wanted to be a true cynic. Afterwards, he kept writing intense, self-reflective pieces until the 2001 car accident left him physically impaired and chronically depressed. PKM: What do you wish your dad had done differently? I didn’t have it ready for the next practice so I gave Theo my new glove and that’s when I first saw S-P-A-L-D-I-N-G on the back of the left hand of Theo Gray. He is known for the autobiographical monologues that he wrote and performed for the theater in the 1980s and 1990s.. Theater critics John Willis and Ben Hodges described his monologue work as "trenchant, personal narratives delivered on sparse, unadorned sets with a dry, WASP, quiet mania". And I had never seen him perform before until he came to our theater. To describe Spalding Gray’s artistry is to describe the work of a master. PKM: Was he still playful with his words? Background Checks Theo Gray: Yes. Spalding Gray with his family in 1999. Spalding Rockwell Gray (June 5, 1941 – January 11, 2004) was an American actor and writer. PKM: I met your dad a couple of times, but only after the accident. I made my thesis piece for school, one that I filmed, and in it I played this character, a kid going to his deceased grandfather’s home, telling stories about the home’s association to his grandfather. My first job out of school was at a performing arts center, the Pyramid Arts Center. That’s the simplest way of putting it. We didn’t have television in our house growing up, but we did watch a lot of films. I’m like maybe three months old when he’s writing this book. I think that when someone suffers brain damage to that certain extent, you understand they are different person and you can justify certain actions. He didn’t want to leave that house, either. He gets speaking really fast in an intense moment that’s happening, then, he takes a breath, and, then, everything’s really smooth. Kathie Russo: I’m not one of those people who gets that sentimental. Talking on the phone with Forrest, a day or so later: PKM: Who do you regard as your dad’s influences? He is best known for the autobiographical monologues that he wrote and performed for the theater in the 1980s and 1990s, as well as for his film adaptations of these works, beginning in 1987. Theo Gray: Yes, exactly. Forrest Gray: Yes. Spalding Gray was a well-known writer and actor and remains a subject of study and interest. I still have the Spalding glove in my coaching bag. After Spalding died, there were three days in a row that a bird appeared to each one of us inside our house. A day later it was confirmed that the body was Gray's. It’s not just stories about one topic; it’s stories about his sexuality, his relationships with partners, the trauma in his life. Forrest Gray: The elemental. Ramblin’ Jack Elliott, the famous folk singer, was one. Spaldinggray.com is a fan site. She killed herself in that house and in a way Spalding was doing the same thing when we bought this house. The canine Spalding Gray was also a local celebrity even in the years before Instagram. I’ve had professors who knew who he was. Theo Gray: I’m sure that many people would look at my situation and say, “His suicide.” Yes, of course, it’d be awesome if he was still alive, and he didn’t kill himself, but at the same time, over the years I’ve understood why he’s done that, and the pain he was in. It’s self-reflective while also being in the day. That was his crisis: becoming a dad and learning how to ski at 52. I tried it on. I couldn’t get the whole thing on my arm. He had already struggled intermitt… Theo Gray: One way is by biking. I think that’s where he found his voice. We miss that voice, that smart, keen, intellectual voice that would just hone in on what was going on and make us laugh and make us think about it.”. The village of Sag Harbor, New York, is a small one, and soon I discovered our families lived on the same street. I also learned that the accident left Spalding obsessed with not only the sale of his house but also with suicide. Autographed Please Kill Me: 20th Anniversary Paperback Edition, Men's Please Kill Me Sweatshirt / Hoodies. © Kathie Russo via spaldinggray.com. Theo Gray: He loved biking and would bike all around out here. That’s the one I pulled up to your house on. Forrest Gray: I probably don’t enough. Forrest Gray: That was an obsessive mantra at the time. PKM: Do you see that part of Spalding playing out for our society at all? Once that car accident happened, and after what happened in the surgeries, there was no way of going back. I find him in simple activities he’s done, things that he liked. In Gray’s Anatomy, it was about a macular pucker [scar tissue] in his eye. Did he turn you on to The Beatles? Spalding Gray Barrett Cir E, Carmel, NY 10512 Theo Spalding Gray Photos Photos - Theo Spalding Gray and Kathie Russo attend "And Everything Is Going Fine" Premiere at MOMA on December 5, 2010 in New York City. Do you see that playing out in any way for you? PKM: That’s not like saying, “My dad’s a dog catcher.”. While performing this film organically, because I didn’t write a script, I was creating this narrative and had these subconscious parallels in my film with my dad’s death. Forrest Gray: Oh, no. That spring, I found myself scolding Theo, a sophomore who was trying to make the varsity team, for taking the field in a scrimmage with a glove that had a broken string. He goes back and forth through memories of his own life and each time comes back to Sag Harbor on a summer-like, early October day. He also liked the documentary My Brother’s Keeper, about a murder in upstate New York. Theo Gray: It’s the book I brought you: Morning, Noon and Night. Why are you rushing into this?” It was some kind of impulse. Is there a parallel for you? And when he was at the Wooster Group, it was really avant-garde. Forrest Gray: For me and my two other siblings [Theo and Marissa, Kathie’s daughter/Forrest’s step-sister], we’ve ended up leading fairly conventional lives considering that my dad was a childless bohemian artist, who didn’t settle down until the age of 52. If that can be deemed a lasting presence, then that is something that was engendered at an early age. Spalding Gray’s brain injury. That was unfortunately built into his experience as he got older. Even though there was a goofiness, the child who becomes the life of the party because of his intellectual prowess, it also led to his being very introspective. PKM: Are there ways you’re closer to him now than when he was alive? Spalding definitely comes back in our lives and it’s usually in the form of bird. What I hear from his good friends who have reached out, is, “Oh my god. Forrest Gray: If you boil down the national crisis, and our familial crisis, to one of norms, yes, it can feel like when norms are abandoned, everything else can slip away. Get premium, high … 1950s Spalding Gray. He was heard on television as the voice of Buckminster Fuller and seen in a recurring role on The Nanny. Benito Vila is a features writer living on the East End of Long Island, where he can be found on the water when he’s not researching and typing. By Oliver Sack s. April 20, 2015. PKM: When I met Spalding, he was in that phase where he was always talking about the old house on Madison Street. Theo Gray: Exactly. We’ve watched home videos and the way he is there is at odds with that. Forrest Dylan Gray, Kathie Russo and Theo Spalding Gray attend the New York premiere of "And Everything Is Going Fine" at The Museum of Modern Art on December 5, 2010 in New York City. Joyce, Yeats, Swift. Spalding Gray. What had him upset was not the accident but that he’d sold his house in the village. Spalding Gray (June 5, 1941 Providence-January 11, 2004 New York City) also known as Spalding Rockwell Gray, Victor Alexander, Spud or Spuddy was an American screenwriter, actor, playwright, writer and performer. He was always afraid of turning out like her and in the end he recreated her past, again, in his own life. My boss brought Spalding in to perform for the weekend and that was it. You see him in The Nanny; you tune into HBO and find him doing Monster in A Box. THIS IS WHAT’S COOL! I try to remember his birthday and to do something on Father’s Day. Hmmm. The Retrsospective, and all of the earlier performances, were produced by The Wooster Group. But his life became unhinged after a devastating car accident in Ireland in 2001, which fractured his skull and crushed his hip. Theo & Forrest Gray, November 2019, with photo of their late Dad Spalding Gray at 16 (circa 1957). We have a few ashes buried at his gravesite [in Oakland Cemetery in Sag Harbor]. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. It seemed to me that it was more important for him to be on the varsity than it was to be ready to help the team win. Pepper religiously in our house. LUX INTERIOR: WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU COME FROM? It’s one of those things I didn’t get around to reading for whatever reason. What’s their reaction to that? That’s refreshing to see sometimes, but I usually don’t tell people he’s my dad. The Denial of Death was one that he was particularly drawn to. What Automne says about New York and art and venues is beautiful and surprising. Co-edited by Gillian McCain and Legs McNeil, the authors of. There are phases, all through it. He must have been in therapy since the age of 22 and I think he saw therapists for the majority of his life. During surgery on his skull, a titanium plate was placed over the break after surgeons removed dozens of bone fragments from his frontal cortex, leaving a jagged scar on his forehead. I met Spalding a year or two before his disappearance. [Pause] There are several reasons, really. Actor and author Spalding Gray on his monologue turned book, "It's a Slippery Slope. But then, in talking with him, he was so different than anyone I had ever met before, the way he thought about things. Also, "HE'S NEVER NOT GLENN DANZIG". Learn how your comment data is processed. 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